....on the threshold

..........how curious life can be and how often everything moves in a full circle, as it has for me with my dear Mother. She held me in my arms when I appeared in this world and I held her in my arms when she left this world.....

In her 97th year she decided to prepare for her last journey by starting a full fast as her body was collapsing and she wanted to die in an honourable self determined way in her own home. 

I feel privileged that I was able to help her prepare and care for her during this precious time after having been away in New Zealand for nearly 50 years.

Never having been in a situation like this I did not know what to expect although friends of mine had already experienced this with their Mums.                                     

But as someone close had said : " People die as they have lived ....".    So what does that mean I wondered On reflection , my Mother has always been conscientious, determined , strong and reliable and very independent.

Even though I tried to talk her out of this plan , especially after a few days when she suffered extreme thirst from having no liquids, she decided to carry on, regardless of my own panic, but agreed to a few sips of water daily.

Although I was plagued with many emotions throughout this process ,she assured me that this was my greatest gift to her, to be there for her serving her last needs in the best possible way.              

And so it continued through various stages until on the 16 th day at 3.30 in the morning she drew her final breath after many hours of labouring .....                           

I held her thin little body with tears in my eyes and absolute admiration for this beautiful woman who gave me life and so much more........